Danny Santos, CEO of the multimillion dollar Sancorp Industries, is totally and hopelessly wrapped around the little finger of his three month old goddaughter after spending just one day with her. He's completely mesmerized with every single thing that she does, and her endless babbling has him convinced that she's the most brilliant baby in the world. He won't relinquish her from his sight for any reason... not even while she sleeps. So, she has taken her naps nestled between the two of us in our giant king-sized bed, the antique crib that Danny expended so much time and energy setting up this morning, having yet to be used. Conveniently, abuela and Olga made themselves scarce almost immediately, leaving Danny and I to care for Isabella on our own, and we both relished the responsibility.
I lost that coin toss in the foyer this morning. 'Tough break,' he had said smugly, following me upstairs to watch me put the changing table to use. He studied every move that I made... from how I unsnapped the sleeper to how I peeled back the adhesive tabs. 'Ha ha', I laughed, pulling back the diaper to reveal the soggy wetness. 'Make sure that the next one's a stinker, little Bella. It'll be his turn then', I teased, looking over my shoulder at Danny, whose smile extended from ear to ear and sparkled in the depths of his eyes.
Of course, she didn't comply. The next diaper was wet as well, and although I stood beside him to offer my assistance, Danny made the change like an old pro. His touch was gentle as he moved the baby wipe across her skin and sprinkled her bottom with a light dusting of powder, mirroring what he'd seen me do just a couple of hours earlier. Watching him watch her, I saw a look of reverence and awe in his eyes, and I realized that I'd never been happier in my life than I felt at that very moment.
Diaper number three was dirty, and I smelled its foul odor a good five minutes before she woke from her nap to let me know about it. Instead of gloating about it being my turn and not his, Danny stood beside me while I cleaned, keeping her occupied by blowing raspberries on her tummy, and I laughed as she giggled uncontrollably and grabbed fistfuls of his hair with ten little, chubby fingers. After that, we sort of gave up keeping track of whose turn it was, choosing to work as a team instead.
Bellabear, as Danny has affectionately nicknamed her, is on her fifth diaper and her second outfit as we stroll through the grounds of the Santos compound underneath the blanket of the nearly setting sun. The descending rays in the west pierce the canopy of overhanging tree limbs as we walk through the garden, and I smile as Danny stoops in front of the stroller to adjust her big, floppy bonnet, shielding the light from her eyes. He's on his second outfit as well, having tossed the blue Polo shirt from this morning into the laundry basket after an overzealous burping resulted in a slow trickle of baby puke down his back. 'That's what these are for, Danny', I explained, fishing out a cloth diaper from the bottom of one of Bella's bags and draping it over my right shoulder to demonstrate.
The wanderings of my mind are interrupted by Bella's fussing and Danny's voice, and I shake my head to clear my thoughts, waiting for him to repeat what he was saying. "I think that she's ready to go back inside," he says, lifting her as he stands.
Nodding, I accept her from his outstretched hands and cradle her in the bend of my arm. "What's the matter, Bellabear?" I ask as we start to walk back to the house, staring down into her reddened, crying face. With one arm around my waist, Danny leans into me to rub calming circles against her belly with the other and to offer whispered words of comfort. "Oh goodness," I coo, feeling the heaviness of her diaper as I support her bottom with my upturned palm. "She's tired and wet. How miserable. Hey, little one... what do you say the two of us have a nice bath, hmm?"
Calmed by the gentleness of my voice, she reaches up to wrap her fingers around the strands of my hair that dangle in her face, blinking eyelids heavy with sleep as she answers me with several grunts. "I think that she likes that idea," Danny translates, looking between the two of us.
"Oh yeah... I forgot that you speak her language," I tease as he folds the stroller and pushes it to the very back of the closet in the foyer.
Smiling, he takes her back into his arms as we climb the stairs to our room, explaining, "It's a gift." Holding her out in front of him, he stares down into her eyes and asks, "Right, angel?" He props her mouth up to his ear and nods his head, pretending to listen to and to comprehend her response before informing me, "She agrees." I marvel at the ease and naturalness with which his strong, masculine fingers wrap around her tiny body, and I grab at the railing for support when my knees threaten to give way. I know that I will cherish this day... this unexpected glimpse of the man that I love... for as long as I live.
We aren't in the room for two seconds before the telephone starts ringing, and we exchange glances with one another, knowing immediately who's on the other end of the line. Rolling his eyes as he walks to answer it, I insist, "Be nice, Danny. You'd be the same way, and you know it."
Exhaling sharply as he flops down onto the bed, he carefully places little Bella beside him, one protective hand covering her belly while the other hovers above the receiver. 'I'm going to go run the bath', I mouth, turning to walk to the bathroom once he nods his head in understanding and lifts the receiver to his ear. "Hello, Josefina... yes, sweetheart... she's fine," I manage to hear before the running water drowns out his voice.
Poor Josefina. This is her third call today. The first came from a rest area halfway between Springfield and Chicago, the second from Estefan's house the minute that they arrived. It must be difficult to leave something so precious... a part of yourself... behind. When I spoke with her the last time that she called, she told me that she felt just lost without Isabella. I felt sorry for her and envied that kind of love, all at the same time.
Turning the faucets off, I kneel beside the tub and dip my elbow into the shallow water to test the temperature, raising my eyes to the door when I hear it slowly creak open. "Were you nice?" I nag, kicking off my shoes as I stand.
"As sweet as pie," he assures, watching me unfasten the button on my shorts and ease the zipper down before they hit the cool, tile floor, puddling at my ankles.
Pulling my shirt over my head, I walk in my panties back into the bedroom to retrieve Bella's diaper bag, stopping only long enough to whisper in Danny's ear, "What're you looking at?"
Swallowing hard, he calls out over his shoulder, "Just admiring the striptease." I smile in spite of myself, running my hand down the contour of my flat stomach, secretly wondering if he'd still find me sexy with a body softened by a pregnancy.
Setting the bag on the countertop, I wait for his eyes to leave the baby and focus on me before I purr, "Well... then you're going to love this, Danny." Hooking my thumbs underneath the elastic waistband of my silky thong, I ease the thin fabric down my thighs and calves, kicking free of it as I stand up straight, posing seductively.
He smiles at my brazenness, saying playfully, "Ah... you know me so well, Michelle. That was my favorite part."
Slipping into the tepid water, I lean back against the bath pillow and point to the baby, saying, "Now it's her turn."
Gently cradling her bottom in the palm of one hand, he slips the buttons along the back of her blue gingham sundress out of their holes with the other, and pulls it from her little arms. Throwing one of his plush, burgundy towels onto the floor, he lays her down to remove the matching panties and wet diaper. "Shh... Bellabear," he soothes when she starts to whimper, hoisting her up over the edge of the ceramic tub and into my awaiting arms.
She's definitely a water-baby. The minute that I lay her against my thighs, she lets her little arms and legs dangle in the water, flailing wildly and letting out a gloriously, happy shriek. The water churns around us as she slaps and kicks the surface with great delight, sending a well-aimed spray straight into Danny's face. I raise a hand to push the sopping hair off of his forehead and to wipe the drips of water away from his closed lids, and he sits back on his heels, laughing hysterically as he opens his eyes and looks down at his soaked shirt. "Thanks, Bellabear," he pouts, digging into her bag and handing me a bottle of Baby Magic and a tiny washcloth as he stands. "I'm going to run out of shirts before the weekend's over," he jokes, pulling the shirt over his head and depositing it in the laundry bin inside the linen closet as he heads to the bedroom to change.
Working up a frothy lather in the center of the washcloth, I tease back, "Maybe before the night's over." I can hear his laughter echoing in the next room, and I smile broadly as I begin the difficult task of soaping up two tiny arms and two tiny legs that are in constant motion.
He's wearing a gray SU t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts when he walks back into the bathroom. She looks at him attentively as he moves to kneel beside us once again. "Are you this tough on your daddy?" he asks her, resting his elbows on the edge of the tub as he sighs in mock frustration, cradling his chin in his palms.
She lays still against me, looking from his face to mine. "It's been a long day," I say, finally breaking the comfortable silence that's settled between us. When he nods in agreement, I point to the droopy-lidded baby in my lap, finishing, "Are you sure that you want to have one of these one day?"
"With all my heart," he answers, looking up at me with a promise of the future in his eyes. Just when I'm nearly moved to tears by the sincerity in his voice and in his eyes, Bella regains her animation, beginning an incessant babble. "She's jealous because we quit paying attention to her," he explains, dropping his hand into the water next to my thigh and lifting his cupped palm to drizzle it over the residual soap bubbles that cling to her skin.
Lifting one of her tiny fists out of the water, I examine the tips of her fingers, offering, "Well... I'm no expert in that language of hers, but I think that she's trying to tell us that she's turning into a prune in here." Holding up my own two hands, I wiggle my fingers in front of his face, adding, "And she's not the only one." He chuckles lightly to himself as he lays his palms against the edge of the tub, pushing himself into a standing position.
I hand her dripping body up to him, watching him envelope her in the warm, fluffy softness of a pale pink, hooded towel. Her pair of coal black eyes peer out at me from underneath, never breaking contact with mine, even as Danny turns around to grab a towel for me. I step out of the tub onto the plush rug, drying off as he walks back into the bedroom with the baby. Turning profile in the mirror, I let the towel drop to the floor and I puff out my belly, imagining what it'd be like to be pregnant. I haven't thought about my prospects for motherhood in my entire life as much as I have in the past eleven hours that Bella's been here.
Wrapping myself in my beige terry cloth robe, I slip on the matching slippers and step into the bedroom, finding Danny hovering over the changing table. I walk up behind him quietly, wrapping my arms around his waist as I stand on the tips of my toes and look over his shoulder at Bellabear. She's waving one of the dozens of crib toys that Josefina packed in the air as he struggles to work the top of her lamb-covered pajamas over her head. "You're getting fast at diapering, Danny," I brag, sliding my hand underneath his shirt to give the firm muscles of his stomach a light squeeze.
I can feel him laughing as I lay my cheek against his back, and he covers my hands with one of his, saying confidently, "I'm a quick learner."
Shaking my head 'no' against him, I respond, "Nah... you're a natural." Bellabear puts up a little fuss when he removes the tiny teddy from her hand to slip her arm through the sleeve, but she quiets just as quickly when he transfers the toy to her free hand. "Need any help?" I ask, knowing that he's handling himself fine. Turning appreciative eyes to mine, he shakes his head 'no', and I stand beside him, smoothing Bella's mussed hair as he works the elastic waistband of the pajama bottoms up over her bulky diaper. "I'll go warm her bottle," I say, dabbing at the trickle of drool that slides out of the corner of her mouth as she chews on teddy's ear hungrily. "You'll be ok?"
Lifting her off of the table, he lays her cheek against his shoulder and turns to me, leaning down to give me a soft kiss. "She'll take really good care of me while you're gone," he says against my lips, mocking my concern with a devilish grin.
Rolling my eyes, I whisper, "Smart ass," before leaning in to place several smacking kisses against the tiny, balled fist that clutches a now soggy, brown teddy. Heading for the door, I turn around and watch him whisper something into her ear as he softly sways from side to side in front of the window. Her eyes sparkle brightly over his shoulder, a small smile tugging at the corners of her heart-shaped lips, and I blow her a kiss as I slip around the door and close it behind me.
When I return with a bottle of warmed milk, Danny is already softly rocking little Bella, attempting to calm her with his voice and touch as she squirms in his arms, her little fists pummeling his chest. Walking up behind them, I place my hand on his back as I peer down at her over his shoulder, and I laugh when I see her eyes stretched wide as she vigorously sucks her pacifier with all of her might.
There's a great deal of relief in his voice as he lowers his head to her, whispering, "There she is. See... I told you that she was coming back." Turning back, he looks down at the bottle in my hand before lifting his eyes to mine and explaining, "Thank God. She was getting a tad impatient." Smiling, I extend the bottle to him, and he turns questioning eyes to mine as he asks, "Did you want to do it?"
Shaking my head 'no', I wait for him to accept the bottle from my outstretched hand before bending down to press a light kiss against his temple and offering, "Why don't you do it? I did the last one, and the two of you look comfortable."
He can't hide the excitement in his eyes as he turns his attention back to his Bellabear, murmuring, "I guess that it's just you and me then, kid." Tears reflexively spring to her eyes as he removes the pacifier from her lips, and I can sense a tremendous wail building in the back of her throat as she opens her mouth wide and puffs up her chest. But he makes quick work of guiding the bottle into her awaiting mouth, and I can't suppress my laughter as I watch the countenance on her face change, her smiling lips closing around the nipple as she sucks greedily. Her eyes flutter shut, and I watch her intently as she suckles, the fingers of one hand raised to the bottle that she's quickly draining, the others curled around Danny's index finger.
Carefully easing the lap blanket off of the back of the rocker, I unfold it and walk quietly around to the front, draping it across Danny's legs. He reaches down to tug the edges up over her body, and she instinctively snuggles down into the secure warmth. So genuine and so pure is the love that I see in the depths of his eyes as he watches her every movement, that I'm nearly reduced to tears. I walk on unsteady legs to the entertainment center, twirling the volume control on the stereo to a low setting as a relaxing instrumental cd begins to play. Turning off lights as I slowly navigate around our room, I leave only the small lamp near the crib burning as I walk to the bureau to retrieve a pair of panties and a shorty nightgown.
Closing the bathroom door behind me, I hang my robe on the hook next to Danny's, turning to look at my naked reflection in the mirror. I locate the faded pink scar on my left breast as I have many times before... my badge of courage which I wear proudly. That lump was like a much needed wake-up call, reminding me not to take anything in life for granted... and I won't... ever again. I let my fingers linger over it, studying in the mirror what was once a reminder of my own mortality, but is now a symbol of my future, and I can't erase the smile that plasters itself to my face when I imagine nursing Danny's babies from these breasts.
The creaking of the rocker against the floor in the next room snaps me out of my daze, and I quickly slip into my silky lingerie and head back into the bedroom. Turning to me, Danny raises a finger to his lips as he eases the baby off of his shoulder and into the crib, and I turn off the bathroom light and tiptoe over to him. Her eyes open slightly as I lift the sheet and quilt up over her legs and arms, but they quickly flutter closed again when he rubs calming circles across her full tummy.
He grabs my hand in his as we both watch sleep overtake her, her breathing becoming deep and steady. "Night, Bellabear," he whispers, pressing a kiss to the pads of his fingertips before reaching out to gently stroke her cheek. We say nothing to one another as we walk hand in hand, turning off the stereo and then the lamp before throwing back the bedcovers and climbing underneath the cool sheets. "Night, sweetie," he sighs into my hair, wrapping his arms around me as I lay my head on his chest. I answer him by tilting my mouth up to his for a tender kiss, and I snuggle closely against his body as I drift off to dream in his arms.
We wake with a start to Isabella's screams, and Danny is across the room with the light on, hovering over the crib before I can even get my eyes to focus on the giant numbers on the bedside clock... 11:12 PM. Despite the fact that I feel fully rested, we've been asleep just over two hours. Throwing back the constrictive covers, I rush to Danny's side, praying that everything's all right as I remember Josefina's words from her first phone call. 'Isabella sleeps through the night now, so after you give her her last bottle and put her to bed at nine o'clock, she won't bother you until six the next morning.'
There's panic in his voice as he lifts her to his shoulder, attempting to soothe her. Bouncing her up and down as she continues to scream in his ear, he turns to me, pleading, "I thought that you said that Josefina told you that she sleeps through the night."
Trying to calm him down before I turn my attention to the baby, I reassure, "She did, Danny. Maybe Bella's just wet." I hold out my arms, and he reluctantly releases his grip on her as he hands her to me, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Let's check that first, ok?" I ask, brushing my lips across the skin of her neck to check for a fever. She calms slightly in my protective embrace, her screams quieting to desperate whimpers as I gently lay her down on the changing table. "She doesn't have a fever," I say, looking up into his worried eyes, and he smiles down at me weakly. Easing her pajama bottoms down, I slip a finger underneath the diaper and find it completely dry. "She's not wet," I saying, tugging the pajamas back into place.
"Maybe she's hungry," he offers, and I shrug my shoulders and lift the pacifier to her mouth to see if she'll suckle. She turns her head from side to side, avoiding the nipple as she flails her arms in the air to push my hand away. "Guess not," he says, exhaling sharply and raking a hand through his hair in frustration as her cries of agitation grow in volume once again.
I study her intently as she cries, noticing that she's drawing her knees up to her chest, and I rub her belly soothingly as I suggest, "I think that she's got colic, Danny."
After a brief medical lesson, I have finally convinced him that there's no need to call the pediatrician or Josefina about a colicky baby. "We can handle this, Danny... the two of us... together," I brag, stroking his cheek lovingly when I see him swallow around the nervous lump in his throat, looking positively green. "We can," I reiterate before pointing down at the baby and adding, "Bellabear trusts us... don't you, sweetie?" As if on cue, new tears begin to cascade down her fat cheeks and her bottom lip quivers with each heartbreaking sob that escapes her throat. "Thanks for the vote of confidence," I mumble under my breath, and I watch Danny grab the edges of the table for support as his knees begin to buckle.
Watching my every move as I walk around the room, bouncing her in my arms, he finally finds his voice and asks, "So... what do we do? I mean... what can we do for colic?"
"Nothing really," I answer honestly. "There's no quick fix." When I see the look of defeat on his face, I clarify, "All we can do is keep her comfortable. Do whatever it takes to make her stop crying... walk her... rock her... whatever makes her happy." I stop in front of the fireplace mantle as she takes an interest in the picture of Danny and I that sits atop it, nuzzling her neck as I whisper to Danny, "See... she found something that made her happy."
The mood slightly lightened, he returns my smile and walks over to us, saying, "She's got excellent taste." I can smell the aftershave lotion on his fingertips as he rubs Bella's head delicately, and I sag against his chest as we sway to the rhythm of our heartbeats.
Soon, I can tell that she's asleep once again, her tiny lips open against my shoulder, warm breath dancing across my skin. Gently, I return her to the crib, and Danny and I return to the inviting warmth of our bed. "Sleep while she sleeps," I say, stroking the arm that he has draped across my waist as he presses light kisses to my ear. "She'll probably keep us up most of the night."
Sometime after three o'clock, she proves me right. "I'll go," Danny insists, pushing me back against the mattress as I try to sit. "I'll go," he repeats, threading his fingers through my hair and trailing kisses across my cheekbone. Obediently, I lie back down. I hear unintelligible words of comfort falling from his lips, and I smile against the pillow when Isabella quiets almost immediately.
I drift off to sleep for the third time this night, only to be awakened a few moments later by Danny's humming. Opening one eye, I try to force myself to focus in the dark room and find him. He's standing just outside the balcony doors, cradling little Bella against his chest, one hand supporting her bottom, the other wrapped tenderly around her neck. Beams of moonlight caress the top of his hair, silhouetting his face like a halo, and as his eyes drift heavenward, he opens his mouth and begins to softly sing,
"Two arms that hold me tight,
Two lips that kiss goodnight,
Two eyes that shine so bright,
That little girl of mine.
No one will ever know
Just what your coming has meant,
Because I love you so,
You're something heaven has sent.
You're all the world to me,
You climb upon my knee,
To me you'll always be
That little girl of mine."
Tears spring to my eyes, but I say nothing as I dab at them furiously, not wanting to intrude on the tender, private moment that he and his goddaughter are sharing. When he carefully slips back underneath the covers a few minutes later, I nestle myself between his two strong arms, knowing that there's no other place in the world that I'd rather be.
Dawn is just beginning to peek through the balcony doors which are still slightly ajar when I start to stir. Isabella is snoring lightly against my chest, her face buried between my breasts and her stomach resting against mine. My body heat is the only thing that would soothe her the last time that she woke us just before five o'clock, and so we've slept like this for a little over an hour and a half.
Turning my head against the pillow, I'm shocked to find that Danny's already awake. "Hi," I whisper, tracing the back of my index finger along the side of his face. "How long have you been up?" I ask, rubbing little Bella's back and smoothing her hair.
Cradling his cheek in his palm as he props his elbow against his pillow, he answers vaguely, "A while."
Smiling at the far away look in his eyes, I ask, "What've you been doing?"
"Thinking," he responds cryptically, dropping his eyes to the baby briefly before lifting them back to mine.
Realizing that I'm going to have to work to get a clearer answer, I sigh as I question, "About what, Danny?"
There's something so powerful and so moving in his eyes as he leans into me for a kiss, and my pulse quickens and throbs against my throat. Pulling back slightly, he whispers against my lips, "About how natural you look with her, and about what a great mother you're going to be."
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