Leaving the wide expanse of open road behind us, I remove my hand from Danny's thigh to downshift, slowing to the residential speed limit. He searches my face, turning his attention away from the compass in his palm for the first time since we left the cabin, and I offer him a warm smile. There are no more tears... there is only total peace in the depths of his eyes... a gift more glorious than anything that money could ever buy.
He turns to look at my bag in the back seat, our clothes packed together inside, and I return my hand to his knee and ask, "What are you thinking about, Danny?"
A slight smile curls his lips as he faces forward, his eyes focusing on each tree before it zooms by, and he asks, "Honestly?"
Nodding my head as I return my attention to the road before me, I answer, "Of course."
"I was thinking that I need a bigger closet to fit all of your things into my room," he reveals, and my heart swells within my chest and thumps loudly within my ears.
Swallowing around the nervous lump in my throat, I ask meekly, "You want me to move into your room?"
I bite my lip as he hooks his finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him, and he teases, "Well... it certainly would be awkward if I moved into yours, don't you think? With abuela right next door, we'd have to censor our lovemaking." My cheeks flush slightly and I shift my eyes back to the road when his hand drops to caress my inner thigh, and I grip the wheel so tightly that my knuckles turn white. I am unable to wipe the smile from my face as he finishes, "And I certainly don't want to spend one night alone in my bed ever again."
The voice of reason nags away at me as I lower my window and lean out to punch in the seven digits on the keypad, waiting for the iron gate to swing open. "Danny," I begin, resting my neck against the headrest and stretching my still sore muscles. "I think we should make this transition slowly, don't you?" Glancing over at him before I begin to navigate the winding driveway, I see a look of confusion cross his face, and I add, "For abuela's sake."
Releasing a shaky breath, he kneads the skin of my thigh and asks with a great deal of relief in his voice, "Is that what you're worried about?" When I nod my head, he says with a chuckle, "Are you kidding me? She's our biggest fan. She already loves you like her own granddaughter. She'll be thrilled for us."
Knowing that what he's saying is true, I take a deep breath, hoping that I'll be able to keep my own fears camouflaged. Sensing my anxiety, he reaches out to stroke my cheek, and I lean into the comforting caress as he commands, "Look at me, Michelle." I comply. Able to read what is in my heart but not on my lips, his voice softens considerably as he reassures, "Hey... I'm not Jesse. I'm not going anywhere, Michelle. There's no turning back for me now... I'm head over heels in love with you."
Reciprocating his feelings, I lay a delicate kiss inside his palm and say, "I love you too, Danny. More than you'll ever know. This is all just a little overwhelming, you know? I mean... it just seems like everything is moving so fast." Stammering, I finish, "I just... I feel like... I just feel like I need to slow down and catch my breath."
With understanding in his eyes, he offers, "I understand what you're saying... I do. And I don't want to rush you into anything that would make you feel uncomfortable. I'll give you as much time as you need, Michelle." Attempting to lighten the mood, he adds, "You shouldn't be scared of what you're feeling, though. You know what it is, don't you?" A wicked little smirk dances upon his lips as I pull into his parking spot and kill the engine, and I play along, shaking my head 'no' as I shrug my shoulders. Leaning into me, he whispers in my ear, "It's the feeling of being swept off of your feet."
He nuzzles my neck, teasing me with his day's growth of beard, and I giggle uncontrollably as I manage to choke out, "Are... you... ready... to... do... this?"
Opening his mouth over my ear, he lets his warm tongue dip inside before whispering, "Let's go."
"I wonder where everyone is parked?" I ask, looking around for any traces of party guest stragglers as we walk hand in hand towards the front door.
Walking inside, we hear the muffled sounds of a child snickering, and I have to cup my hand over my mouth to contain my own laughter. He gestures in the direction of the living room, dropping my hand as we draw closer, and I do my duty, yelling, "Abuela?... Olga?... where is everybody?"
Stepping onto the plush oriental rug, I grope in the darkness for the light switch, flipping it up when I find it. "SURPRISE!" a chorus of both young and old voices yells from every corner of the room and everywhere else in between. I steal a sideways glance at Danny and find that he is as genuinely shocked as I am. What was supposed to be an intimate gathering of a few relatives has swelled into a massive blowout. I scan the faces as the crowd breaks into a somewhat off key rendition of "Happy Birthday To You". Some I recognize from the christening, some from last night's gala, others are completely foreign. My jaw drops in shock as my eyes fixate on the far corner of the room. Rick and Bill stand huddled together behind the baby grand piano, their glasses of wine extended to me as they sing along.
I wait for the applause to die down so that I can discretely move to the back of the room, but the opportunity is lost when Olga leads everyone in the first stanza of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow". Remaining glued to my spot, I mouth the words mindlessly, nervously shifting my weight from one foot to the other. Thankful for the reprieve I get when nobody seems to know the words to the next stanza, I watch Danny bow graciously to his guests before I make my second attempt to head to the back of the room.
But abuela's voice stops me in my tracks. Seated in an overstuffed armchair with a sleeping Isabella nestled in her arms, she announces to the room, "In case you haven't met the lovely young woman standing next to my Daniel, allow me to introduce Ms. Michelle Bauer. She is my physical therapist and the reason that I'm walking today, and in the short time that she's been here, she has become one of the most important people in my life. She has helped me not only to regain the use of my legs, but also to deal with losing my Pilar, so I expect every one of you to welcome her into the family with open arms." I watch as everyone raises their glasses in toast to me, a sense of lightheadedness washing over me as my eyes drift between a beaming Danny and a bewildered Rick.
The crowd begins to disperse into smaller groups as people start to mingle, and soft music begins to play in the background. "What's wrong, Michelle?" Danny asks, grabbing my hand and pulling me against his shoulder.
Shaking the cobwebs from my head, I swallow past the dryness in my throat and whisper, "My brother, Rick is here."
Following my shifty eyes with his as they drift back to Rick, he says, "Ah, yes. And Bill too, I see. Well... by all means... let's go say hello." Curling my fingers around his biceps, he gives my hand a light pat and asks, "Shall we?" Despite all of my boasting about being an independent, grown woman, Rick's opinion of me still matters a great deal. For all intents and purposes, he's been the dad to me that my own father couldn't for the past six years, and I don't want anything to jeopardize that relationship.
Tightening the viselike grip I have on his arm, I pull him down to me and whisper frantically, "Why do you think he's here? Do you think he knows where we've been? Does he look mad?" When he raises his eyes to glance in Rick's direction, I tug on his arm and insist, "No... don't look, Danny."
Smiling at my hysteria, he grabs a glass of white wine from the silver tray of a passing server and extends it to me, saying, "Drink this, Michelle. You need to calm down, sweetie." His eyes stretch wide as he watches me drain the glass in two huge gulps, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand like an ill-mannered child. Gasping for breath as my throat feels the sting of the alcohol, I close my eyes and grab his arms for support, letting him steady me. "Come on, Michelle. We can't avoid him all evening." Trying to coerce a smile from me, he leans into me and whispers in my ear, "I promise that I won't say anything to embarrass you. I won't tell him how naughty we've been."
Knowing that I can't ignore Rick's presence for much longer, I consent, saying, "Well... before we go over there, Danny... we need to get our stories straight. We need to think of something to say in case he starts to ask questions."
His eyes focus above my head as I rack my brain, and I'm more than a little perturbed that he has left me floundering, trying desperately to come up with some sort of feeble excuse on my own. Just as I open my mouth to tell him so, he cuts me off, saying, "How about the truth?" Is he insane? The truth? Hey Rick... I'm madly in love with my employer who I've known for all of three weeks, and we just got back from dad's cabin where we had wild sex all night long. No thanks. I'd prefer to tell him something that won't give him a massive coronary. Looking into my questioning eyes, he explains, "You can't come up with some elaborate lie to tell him, Michelle."
Slightly incensed by his attack of conscious, I ask, hands on hips, "And just exactly why can't I, Danny?"
"Because I'm afraid you've run out of time, dear... he's headed over here right now," he whispers down at me through clenched teeth, his lips not moving.
I swallow hard and release a shaky breath when the hairs on Rick's arm brush mine, and I watch his fingers curl around Danny's outstretched hand. "You must be the guest of honor," Rick says, his voice reverberating in my head.
I watch their joined hands exchange a firm shake as Danny says with a great deal of confidence, "Danny Santos."
With all of the courage that I can muster, I force a cheery smile as I pivot in my spot, extending the tips of my fingers in Rick's direction as I say, "This is my brother, Rick."
Lifting my eyes to Rick's, I see a million questions swirling in their depths. "It's good to finally meet you, Dr. Bauer," Danny says as they drop their hands at their sides.
"Likewise," Rick says before turning his attention to Bill on his right. "This is one of Michelle's friends... Bill Lewis."
The uncomfortable glance that Danny and Bill share is not lost on me, and Rick notices it as well, raising a questioning eyebrow. "We've met," Bill says tersely, an edge of contempt in his voice.
"Bill," Danny says with what must be all the cordiality that he can summon. Waiting for Bill to accept his extended hand, he shakes it firmly, saying, "Nice to see you again."
Bill doesn't return the sentiment, and the tension that I feel passing between the three most important men in my life is suffocating. "What are the two of you doing here?" I ask, trying to fill the awkward silence, and three sets of eyes fall upon me. "It's just a shock. I mean... I wasn't expecting either of you to be here," I explain, the words flying out of my mouth faster than my brain can comprehend what I'm saying. About the time that Rick rolls his shoulders forward and folds his arms across his chest, it occurs to me that it sounds like I want them to leave.
Clearing his throat, Rick begins, "Well, Michelle... Abby left for Washington, D.C. yesterday to replace another speaker at the congressional hearing." Then turning to Danny, he adds for his benefit, "My wife has worked as an advocate of cochlear implants ever since the surgery that she had last year restored her hearing." When Danny nods his head in understanding, Rick turns back to me and says, "So, um... I called here after I dropped her off at the airport to see if you had plans for the rest of the weekend. I was sort of hoping that you might want to spend it with me." Guilt washes over me and I smile weakly when our eyes lock, and he continues, "After about an hour of getting nothing but your answering machine, I gave up." Addressing Danny, he says, "Ten minutes later, Mrs. Santos called to invite my wife and me to your party. So... I thought that this would be as good an opportunity as any for our families to finally meet one another." Looking from Bill to me, he finishes, "I didn't even know that Bill had been invited until I got here twenty minutes ago, Michelle."
I watch Bill rock between the balls of his feet and his heels, saying nervously, "Yeah, Michelle... Mrs. Santos invited me yesterday, too. I'm sorry if you feel like we've put you on the spot by being here." I feel like the biggest jerk in the world as I grab his upper arms, shaking my head from side to side and mouthing the word 'No'.
My eyes lock with Danny's, beseeching him to help me out of the hole that I've dug myself into. He understands. "Well... it's so good to have you both here. I sometimes worry that Michelle works so hard with my grandmother that she has little time left for her friends and family," he says, flashing me a warm smile. Turning his attention to Rick, he finishes, "And I'm so glad to finally get the chance to meet you."
The tension eased slightly, Rick relaxes his stance and says sincerely, "Well... your family certainly has been very gracious in making me feel welcome in your home. I can see why Michelle is so happy here."
Smiling, Danny puts his arm around my shoulders and says, "Michelle has been a blessing in all of our lives. I don't know what we would've done without her. She came to us at a very difficult time and has, as my grandmother said, helped us all through our grief over losing my sister."
Rick downs the rest of his wine and Bill rubs his clenched jaw, both unsettled by the way Danny's hand lingers on the skin of my arm. Sensing their discomfort, he drops his hand to his side, awkwardly shoving it into the pocket of his jeans. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Guillermo approaching us and I send a prayer of thanks to God for the reprieve. "I don't mean to interrupt," he says softly, his hand on Danny's shoulder.
Reaching for my hand, Guillermo pulls me close to him and kisses both of my cheeks, whispering, "So good to see you again, Michelle."
Stepping back, I pat his hand and reply, "And you as well."
When we break contact, Danny says, "Guillermo... this is Dr. Bauer, Michelle's brother. And this is one of Michelle's friends, Bill Lewis." When Guillermo extends his hand first to Rick and then to Bill, Danny finishes, "This is my cousin's husband, Guillermo Ramirez."
"Nice to meet you gentleman," Guillermo says genially. "Would you mind if I borrowed Daniel for a moment?"
Their voices overlapping, Rick and Bill say enthusiastically, "Of course not." I mind, I want to scream. I'm not prepared for the onslaught of questions that I'm sure will come as soon as Danny leaves my side. Instead, I smile sweetly and shake my head 'no' when Guillermo's questioning eyes drift to mine.
Politely, Danny says as he turns to follow Guillermo, "If you'll excuse me, Rick... Bill. Please make yourselves at home."
Trying to avoid a deluge of questions, I play the perfect hostess, saying, "Let's get the two of you something to eat." I head to the buffet table with them close on my heels, adding over my shoulder, "I know how horribly you eat when Abby's not there to cook for you, Rick."
Grabbing my wrist, he spins me around to face him, and I avert my eyes, unable to meet either of their penetrating stares. "Excuse us, Bill... Michelle and I need to talk." I watch as Bill makes himself scarce, feigning interest in an antique vase on a nearby table as he steals glances at us. "Is there somewhere private where we can talk?" Rick asks, gently shaking my arm to seize my attention.
Looking around at the happy faces in the room, I force a smile as I say through clenched teeth, "Follow me... and please don't make a scene, Rick." As we turn to leave, I lock eyes with Danny on the opposite side of the room as he turns his attention from Guillermo briefly, and I draw strength from their compassionate depths.
I lead Rick past two women in the hallway who introduce themselves to me as Danny's aunts, stopping me to tell me what a wonderful job I've done rehabilitating his abuela. Behind me, Rick exhales loudly in frustration, and I bid them a warm farewell as I guide him to the nearby study, pulling him into the room by his lapels and shutting the door behind us. "What?" I bark.
"What?" he repeats incredulously. "What? Well... how about we start with you telling me exactly what's going on between you and Danny Santos?"
I pace the floor nervously, stopping in front of the wet bar to pour myself a brandy. "What do you mean?" I ask, bringing the snifter to my lips with a trembling hand.
Letting his shoulders fall, he unbuttons his jacket and collapses onto the leather couch. "I wasn't born yesterday, Michelle. I heard the way that he talked about you. I saw the way that he looked at you... the way that he touched you." he says, his eyes boring holes into mine. I turn and walk to the bookcase, fingering the cover of 'War and Peace'. "Are you sleeping with him?" he asks, and I can tell by the slightly muffled words that he's running his hands over his face, the way that he does when he has some dreadful worry.
I watch the dark liquid swirl as I cradle the snifter in my hand, moving it in small circles. "So what if I am?" I ask, turning around and seeing genuine concern flash behind his eyes. "I'm a big girl, Rick," I finish, my voice growing softer.
He sits forward, running his fingers through his unruly curls. "I know, Michelle. I just worry about you, that's all. I'm your big brother... I think I'm entitled, don't you?" I return his weak smile with one of my own before turning to pour a brandy for him. "I just... I mean... do you think it's wise to jump into another relationship so soon after Jesse?" He takes the snifter from my outstretched hand as I sit next to him, and he lifts it to his nose to inhale the rich aroma before finishing, "I just don't want to see you get hurt again, that's all."
Raising my hand to smooth the tuft of hair jutting out above his ear, I say lovingly, "I know that you worry about me, Rick, and I appreciate it... really, I do. But in this case, your concern is misplaced. I know what I'm doing with Danny... trust me." He opens his mouth to speak... probably to assure me that he does trust me... but I silence him with a finger against his lips. "He's a wonderful man, Rick. Do you know where he took me last night?" He raises the snifter to his lips, taking a generous swig before shaking his head 'no' and lifting his eyes to mine. "He took me to the country club... to a charity gala for breast cancer research. And he organized it, Rick... for me... all for me. Do you have any idea what that meant to me?" Not waiting for him to answer, I finish, "I can't even begin to put it into words."
Finishing off the last sip, he stretches his arm out on the couch behind my shoulders and asks, "Do you love him?"
Nodding my head, I feel tears prick the backs of my eyes as I search for the words to articulate the depth of my feelings. "I do, Rick... so much more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life." Turning my eyes to his, I say, "And I realize that that sounds irrational and crazy after only knowing him for such a short time. But I do, Rick... I really do. He gave me his heart, and I can't imagine my life without him in it. It feels like I've spent my whole life searching and I've finally found my way home." His eyes glisten with tears, and I have to look away as I finish, "You have to see how happy he makes me. I'm not asking you to be his best friend, but promise me that you'll give him a chance... for my sake."
Raising his hand to the side of my face, he pulls my head against his chest and whispers, "I do see it, sweetie. And that's all I want for you... someone to make you happy. Don't worry... I'll give Danny a chance." I close my eyes, but the tears slip underneath my lids and soak Rick's shirt anyway. "Besides," he begins, wiping the streaks of mascara from my cheeks as I sit up. "I owe it to myself to get to know the man that swept my little sister off of her feet." Sniffling, I smile broadly as I remember Danny's very similar words in the car earlier.
As if sensing my presence, Danny turns toward the door as Rick and I walk into the living room hand in hand, giving me a reassuring wink before focusing his attention back on his guest. Rick tells me that he's going to treat Bill to a beer at Company. I insist that they don't have to leave, but he teases, "Now that I've sized up the Santos family, my work here is done." He pulls me into a hug and whispers in my ear as he looks over my shoulder, "They all seem to genuinely love you, Michelle. You've got a fan club waiting for you over there." I turn in his arms and follow his eyes to the smiling faces of abuela, who hasn't relinquished Isabella nor budged from her chair, and Olga and Josefina, who are on the sofa next to her.
He nudges me towards them, telling me that he and Bill will see themselves out, and I wait for the two of them to wave good bye in my direction before I plop down between Olga and Josefina.
"Long day, eh Michelle?" Josefina asks, stifling a laugh as I cover my mouth and yawn.
Pointing to Isabella, I say, "Her too, huh?" All eyes fly to the sleeping baby in abuela's arms. I lean into Josefina and attempt to whisper discretely, "Thanks for the dress."
Olga leans over the arm of the sofa and says with a great deal of enthusiasm in her voice, "Did you hear that Ms. Maria? Michelle just thanked Josefina for the dress that she wore on her date with Daniel."
Taking her eyes off of the baby, abuela glances up at me long enough to say, "I did indeed hear that, Olga." A slow smile spreading across her face, she asks, "I trust that you and Daniel had a wonderful evening?" She can read me like an open book. My cheeks flush with color and I nod my head, looking at Olga to my right and Josefina to my left. They know too.
"What?... how can you tell? Do I look different or something?" Josefina shakes her head 'no', trying to save me the discomfort of discussing my sex life.
But I can always count on Olga to be honest and forthcoming, and she doesn't disappoint this time either, nodding her head emphatically and saying, "You're glowing, dear... positively radiant. I could tell that things had changed between you and Daniel the minute that the two of you walked into this room."
Changing the subject, I ask Josefina, "What did Guillermo want with Danny?"
"To ask a favor," she begins, pulling her right leg underneath her body. "One of his nieces is getting married in Chicago in a couple of weeks, and he wanted to know if we could leave Isabella here that weekend." A maternal warmth creeps into my heart and I look at the baby, watching her tug on her ear in her sleep. "He said yes, but I'm not sure that he understands how difficult it is to care for a three month old baby."
Patting her knee, I offer, "Well... I'll be here too. I think that the two of us can manage. Don't worry about a thing. Besides... it'll be good practice for me for the future." She stares at Olga and abuela over my head, and I turn just as they exchange a knowing glance. "What?" I whine.
Turning her attention back to Isabella, abuela says, "Good practice for you and for Daniel, I should think."
The three women burst into a fit of giggles, and my eyes fly across the room, searching for Danny's, hoping against hope that he hasn't heard the outburst. He's facing away from me, engaged in conversation, and relief washes over me. But that soon turns to panic, and nervous butterflies begin to flutter in the pit of my stomach when he steps away from the man to whom he's been speaking. I watch as Rick shakes his hand, and I read his lips as he turns to leave, saying, 'I'm glad that we've had this talk, Danny.' I swallow hard, wondering what they've been talking about.
It's ten-thirty when Danny and I escort the last guest to the door, and I sag against it, exhausted. Placing his hands on either side of my hips, he asks, "Tired?", and I nod in response as he pulls me against him and presses his warm lips to mine. "Mmm... I've been wanting to do that for so long," he whispers against them.
Pushing him back slightly, I say meekly, "I'm sorry that Rick cornered you before he left. He told me that he and Bill were going to Company for a beer."
Pushing the hair out of my eyes, he explains, "He told Bill that he'd meet him there, but he hung back to talk to me."
With a pout, I ask, "So... are you going to tell me what the two of you talked about, or are you going to let me die of suspense?"
"Hmm," he says, stroking his chin as if contemplating his two options, and I punch him playfully. Grabbing my hand, he turns off the hall light as we walk towards my room, and he says, "He just wanted to tell me how wonderful you are and how I shouldn't take you for granted. He also wanted to make it clear what he'd do to me if I ever hurt you." When my eyes stretch wide, he finishes, "But it won't ever come to that... don't worry." He brings my hand to his lips and smiles against my skin, saying, "And he wanted to invite me to the Fourth of July barbecue."
Groaning, I say, "Please tell me that he didn't go on and on about his infamous Bauer burgers." He shakes his head 'no', waiting for me to explain. "Let's just say... I hope that you have a lead belly."
Flexing the muscles in his arms, he says in a thick Spanish accent, "I am strong like bull."
Laughing as we approach my door, I say, "Let me gather a few of my things and I'll be upstairs."
Clearly shocked, he asks, "You changed your mind about taking things slow for abuela's sake?"
Nodding my head, I avert my eyes, answering, "She knows, Danny. They all knew... said I looked like I was glowing."
"See there... I even did wonders for your complexion," he says, blowing on his fingernails and rubbing them against his chest. I roll my eyes at his arrogance, and he says, "Woman's intuition, huh?"
Shrugging my shoulders, I say, "So... give me a few minutes, ok?"
Leaning in for a kiss, he answers, "I'll be counting the seconds." Just before his lips touch mine, I turn the knob at my back and slip inside the door.
Smiling when I hear him groan as I close the door behind me, I walk to my answering machine and hit 'play', remembering Rick say that he had tried to reach me yesterday. "One message," the automated voice tells me as I walk to the bathroom to gather my toiletries, and I strain to hear the voice of my caller.
"Michelle? Michelle?" I hear a familiar voice say, and I practically fall down trying to get back into the room. "Michelle? It's me... it's Jesse. Listen... you and I have to talk. It's important. Christ... I can't do this over a machine. Look... I'll call you back soon. Bye."
I stand frozen in my spot, watching the red light blink over and over again. When I hear my door swing open, I quickly hit the 'erase' key. "Hey," Danny says, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind and pressing his lips to my neck. "I got impatient. What's taking you so long?" he asks.
Forcing my voice to come out smooth and steady, I say, "Nothing." Turning in his arms, I manage a weak smile as I drag him from the room with me, finishing, "I'll get the rest of my stuff tomorrow." Tonight... all I want is to fall asleep in Danny's protective arms and to get as far away from Jesse's frantic voice as I can.
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