Standing on the cold tile floor of my bathroom in my shimmery, sheer pantyhose clad feet, I fasten the last pearl-encrusted button on my lavender suit jacket. Taking a deep breath, I look at myself in the mirror, trying to imagine what the first words out of Danny's mouth will be when I see him this morning. I haven't seen him since I charged away from him on Wednesday afternoon and confined myself to the safety and security of this room. Stewing in my anger for a solid forty minutes, I cursed him, calling him every name in the book. When it finally subsided, I was surprised to find that I was secretly thrilled by his jealousy at the thought of me sleeping with Bill.
Having spent the last forty-five minutes making sure that my makeup is flawless, I finally leave the bathroom in search of my heels. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I slip them on before glancing at the bedside clock... 10:05 AM. I can't believe that in less than four hours, I'll be in surgery. Thoughts of seeing Danny Santos this morning for the first time in two days have kept my mind so occupied that I've almost forgotten about how I'll be spending my afternoon. Almost.
I packed my overnight bag last night. Rick and Abby are expecting me for the weekend. Rick was hurt that I asked Bill to take me instead of him but he didn't offer up much protest when I told him that I'd need him to take care of me this weekend. Suddenly remembering the prescription bottle that I left sitting on the vanity table in the dressing area of my bathroom, I rush to retrieve it. Staring at the label, I read aloud, "Valium. 2.5 mg. Take one hour before time of surgery." Shaking the bottle, I listen as the one tiny pill bounces inside before returning to my room and shoving it into the side pouch of my bag.
Grabbing the leather handles of the bag in one hand and the handles of my purse in the other, I step gingerly to avoid the thunderous clicking of my heels against the ceramic tile as I make my way to the front of the house. Bending to set the bags down in the foyer, I can see Danny's distorted image through the stained glass of the front door as he places abuela's folded walker into the trunk of an enormous limousine. A limo. "Good Lord," I gasp, "The Santos family spares no expense." You'd think that they were attending a Hollywood movie premiere instead of the christening of a two month old baby.
Smiling, I walk back and knock on abuela's door before letting myself in. Olga is running a big, round brush through abuela's hair, and they both look towards the door and smile at me as I enter. "Well... today's the big day, huh?" I ask, taking a deep breath. Not only does she meet her great-grandchild for the first time today, but it's also her first opportunity to get out of this house since the accident. She is anxious for her family to finally see her out of this wheelchair, and to show off how much we've accomplished with her therapy in the last two weeks.
As I bend down to give her a kiss on the cheek, she whispers in my ear, "Today is a big day for all of us, no?" Nodding, I smile as I think about how relieved I'll feel when this lump is out of my body.
"Ready?" I ask, waiting for her to nod before I begin to push her.
Turning around in her chair, she calls back over her shoulder, "Don't forget my bible and my rosary... and the gown, Olga."
"They're in my hands Ms. Maria," Olga answers, flipping off the light switches as we make our way to the only wheelchair accessible door on the side of the house. Opening the door, I see Danny round the corner of the house and stand at the bottom of the ramp, his arms folded across his chest. I can feel his eyes upon me as we slowly make our descent, and I focus all of my attention on navigating abuela's wheelchair for fear that my knees will go weak if I dare to look in his direction.
"Ladies... you're looking lovely this morning," he says, and my heart starts to race and I can feel a red heat flush my cheeks. "How's my best girl?" he asks, and my eyes fly to meet his. He smiles smugly as he stares at me for what feels like an eternity before bending to give abuela a kiss on the lips. He holds her hand, walking beside her chair as I push her to the front of the house. "See that, abuela?" he asks, pointing to the black stretch limo. "Your chariot awaits."
Trying not to wrinkle the delicate fabric of abuela's mint green dress, I gingerly transfer her from the chair to the back seat. Smiling at me, she smoothes my skirt as I duck back out of the car and stand upright. Glancing over at Danny, I see that he has now hidden his eyes behind those familiar black sunglasses. Clearing his throat, he unbuttons his double-breasted black jacket and shoves his hands into his pockets before saying, "Well... isn't anyone going to tell me how dashing I look?" Then after a brief pause, he finishes, "Michelle?"
Nobody would ever accuse this man of lacking self-confidence, I think as I lean back and put a finger to my lips as if in deep thought. Letting my eyes slowly drift from his slightly damp hair to the tips of his shiny black loafers, I finally say, "I've seen you look better," as an image of his glistening nude body pops into mind.
"Indeed," he says as I begin to disassemble the wheelchair's legs and fold the seat in half. Leaning down, he finishes, whispering in my ear, "You've seen me at my best, Michelle." Hoping that abuela hasn't heard what he's said, I look at her to gauge her reaction. Following her eyes, I see that she and Olga are sharing a glance with one another. Olga winks at me as I walk on shaky legs to the trunk of the car and deposit the legs inside. Not the winking game again. Shit.
I try to ignore Danny's presence when I hear him walk up behind me. "Why are we taking the chair with us? She told me that she's going to use the walker."
Turning around to face him, I say, "I just thought it would be a good idea to take it with us in case she gets tired. She's pushing herself really hard, but just a few steps takes an enormous amount of effort and energy. Better safe than sorry."
Nodding, he removes his hands from his pockets and walks closer to me, brushing his hands across mine as he reaches for the chair. "Let me," he says, lifting it from the pavement and turning it on its side. I stand back and watch him leaning into the car as he pushes the chair to the very back of the trunk. I watch as his jacket rides up his back, and my eyes become fixated on his ass. I can tell that it's firm and tight, and I have to resist the urge to reach out and grab a handful of it. Suddenly, I find myself wishing that I'd asked him to do a pirouette that day in his room before I insisted he cover up with a towel.
The slamming of the trunk lid brings me out of my reverie, and he places his hand in the small of my back to escort me to the limo, saying, "After you."
Squirming out from under his touch, I turn around to face him and say, "I'm going in my own car."
Putting his hands on his hips, he insists, "Michelle... don't be ridiculous. There's plenty of room for you. It would be foolish to take another car." He doesn't know where I'll be spending my afternoon and I don't want to tell him. I rack my brain for any feeble excuse that will satisfy him but I come up with nothing, and he takes advantage of my silence, saying, "Don't trust yourself around me... is that it?" Pompous ass.
"That must be it," I say sweetly. "Why don't you have the driver stop at the gate? I just have to run back inside to grab something I forgot, and I'll be right behind you."
Shrugging his shoulders, he says indifferently, "Suit yourself, Michelle." As I turn to walk to the front door, I hear him say, "Olga... shall we?" I turn back and watch him extend a hand to her to help her inside the car, and I am struck by how he can be a jerk one minute and a gentleman the next.
When the limo pulls out of view, I quickly retrieve my bags from inside the foyer, lock the door, and jump in my car. The limo hasn't even made it to the gate when I catch up with them. Staring at the tinted windows in front of me, I briefly worry that abuela is telling them my secret, but I quickly stamp that thought down, knowing that she will respect my wishes. I mindlessly take every turn that they take, not knowing the way to St. Michael's, and I am shocked when it finally comes into view. It is nothing like I expected. I envisioned some grand cathedral, but it is actually a very small, cozy, non-intimidating chapel.
Getting out of my car, I am relieved to find that there are no steps leading into the church and there is a wheelchair ramp located right in front. In a very unladylike fashion, I half squat as I help abuela into a standing position. Danny offers his assistance by involuntarily grabbing my purse out of my hand. "Lavender is not your color, Danny," I joke, and he looks down at the tiny, dainty handbag in his hand. It really clashes with his Armani suit, I think as he quickly hands it off to Olga, and his eyes dart all around. "No one saw you, tough guy," I say with a laugh, and he flashes me a genuine smile.
He retrieves the walker from the trunk, locking the legs and placing it in front of abuela. After I assist her with the first few steps, I release my hold and stand back, watching her revel in the monumental accomplishment of walking on her own. "Let us know if you get tired, abuela. We brought the chair if you need it," I say with a smile before turning back to look at Danny.
Watching him watch his grandmother, I notice a tear trickle from underneath the right lens of his sunglasses and he wipes it away quickly when his eyes meet mine. Not wanting him to feel embarrassed, I avert my eyes. The love he has for his grandmother is so moving that it is easy for me to forget all of his horrible qualities. Feeling the need to comfort him, I wrap an arm around his shoulders and give them a light squeeze as I stand on the tips of my toes and whisper in his ear, "She's doing great." He takes off his sunglasses and looks down at me with moist eyes, nodding as he places his arm around my waist and pulls me against him.
Thrilling in the heat that our bodies generate when they make contact, I don't resist the embrace. Instead, I close my eyes and savor it. My body sags with disappointment when he removes his hand from my hip, but the delight quickly returns when I realize that he let go of me only long enough to reach for my hand. "Ready to become a godfather?" I ask, and he nods as we walk behind abuela and Olga into the church, our hands joined.
Pausing in the hallway just inside the door, Danny and I break contact with one another as we stand on either side of abuela, steadying her while she makes the sign of the cross and lights one of the votive candles on a nearby table. "For Pilar," she says looking from Danny to me.
"Abuelita!" Ray says, walking towards us. She smiles broadly and begins to slowly inch her way towards him. "Gracias a Dios!" he says, stopping in his tracks as he looks heavenward and makes the sign of the cross. "I see that Michelle has you back in top form, huh abuelita?" he asks, stooping to kiss her before shaking hands with Danny.
Olga slips past us, giving Ray a warm hug before holding up the gown and saying, "I'd better get this to Josefina." I watch as she walks through a set of double doors to the left of the far end of the hallway that leads into what I assume is the sanctuary.
"Hi Ray," I greet as he plants a kiss on each of my cheeks.
Stepping back, he raises an eyebrow before giving Danny a slap on the shoulder, saying, "Looks like I made a wise choice hiring Michelle, wouldn't you agree cousin?"
Before Danny has a chance to respond, abuela says, "Raymond... would you mind walking me to my seat? I'm afraid I still can't stand for very long." Nodding, he waves to Danny and me as he leaves us standing in the hallway, facing each other.
Following a brief awkward silence, he shoves his hands into his pockets and says, "You really do look nice this morning, Michelle." Standing back on his heels, his eyes rake over my body as he finishes, "Big improvement."
Placing my hands on my hips, I ask with a false hurt in my voice, "So you're saying that I generally look hideous?" Then fanning my face with my hand, I finish in my best southern belle accent, "Why, Danny Santos... you just know all the right things to say to make a girl's heart go pitter-pat."
His eyes spark and a beautiful smile plays upon his lips as he reaches for my hand, saying, "Come on... I want to introduce you to some of my family." As he leads me towards the same set of doors that Olga, Ray, and abuela have disappeared through, I can't seem to rip my eyes away from the joining of our hands. I can barely even see my petite hand as it rests in his large, masculine one. His grip is firm, but there's gentleness in his touch as we enter the sanctuary, and the bustling commotion of people trying to find seats shakes me back to reality.
Looking up, my eyes feast on the beauty of this room. The pews are decorated with strings of garland offset by baby's breath and thousands of pink miniature roses. There is a grand marble baptismal near the altar and my eyes follow Ray as he crosses in front of it and walks to the first pew on his right, standing in front of abuela. Tears prick the backs of my eyes when I see that she is holding Isabella's tiny face against her cheek. Involuntarily, I begin to walk towards her, wanting to share in her joy at meeting her great-granddaughter for the first time, but Danny tugs on my hand, pulling me towards a pew on the other side of the room.
Over his left shoulder, I can see that he is leading me towards a distinguished looking man with slightly graying hair and a mustache and a beautiful woman with black waist-length hair. Suddenly, I feel like an outsider as I let my eyes dart across a sea of unfamiliar faces. Sensing my anxiety as I slow my pace considerably, Danny squeezes my hand lightly and leans into me, whispering in my ear, "They'll love you." With a hand outstretched to the couple, Danny fixes his eyes on me and says, "This is my cousin, Josefina, and her husband Guillermo Ramirez. They are Isabella's parents." Then turning away from me and back to them, he finishes, "And this is Michelle Bauer."
Josefina's eyes grow wide as she pulls me into her arms, saying, "My brother, Ray has told me so much about you, my dear. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw abuelita walking in here this morning. You have given her back to us, Michelle." I feel instantly at ease.
Kissing the top of my hand as he addresses me, Guillermo says, "You have made us all very happy, Ms. Bauer. The family has not been the same since Pilar's passing, but seeing the progress that you have made with abuela, I can tell that we are well on our way to repairing the damage." I steal a glance at Danny, but he seems unaffected by the mentioning of Pilar's death.
Abuela's laughter sounds like the angel's voices as it drifts into my ears, and I smile broadly as I say, "She has been looking forward to this day for so long." Then pointing in her direction, I add, "I see that she has finally met the baby."
Laughing, Josefina wraps her arm around my shoulders as the four of us begin to slowly cross the room and says, "The minute that Ray helped her to her seat, she demanded that I hand Isabella over to her. I didn't even get so much as a 'hello'." I can hear Danny laughing softly behind me, and Josefina turns and says to him, "It's not funny, cousin. I'm not sure if she'll ever give my baby back to me."
"What are the four of you laughing at?" Abuela asks, looking up from the dozing baby in her arms as we get close. "You're going to wake the baby," she says sternly, a finger against her lips. When a silence falls between us, she looks up at me, saying, "This is my namesake, Michelle. This is Isabella Maria Ramirez and today we are going to dedicate her soul to God."
Reaching down, I press my finger into Isabella's tiny palm and watch as her fingers close around it even in sleep. The white gown is a sharp contrast to her brown skin and her full head of jet black hair. Watching the rise and fall of her chest as she breathes, I can see that she is a robust, healthy baby. "She's beautiful," I say, glancing over my shoulder at Josefina and Guillermo, and I watch as they beam with pride.
"It's time," Ray announces, looking at his sister and her husband. Sitting next to abuela, I watch as they take their place next to the baptismal.
Bending down, Danny says to abuela, "You heard Ray, abuelita. It's my turn now." Planting a kiss on Isabella's forehead, abuela carefully places her into Danny's outstretched arms.
A petite woman walks beside him as they join the others at the front. Abuela leans over and whispers, "That's Anna, Guillermo's sister. She's to be the baby's godmother." Nodding, I sit back in my seat and wait for the room to fall silent before Ray begins the ceremony.
As this is the first christening I've ever attended, I try desperately to listen to every word that falls from Ray's lips and to follow along with abuela as she points out passages in her bible. But my attempts are futile. I am mesmerized by Danny's every movement. A brilliant beam of sunlight pierces through an ornate stained-glassed etching of a Madonna and Child that hangs in the window behind the altar, and I watch as a rainbow of colors dance across his hair and shoulders. My eyes move down his arms and study his hands... one supporting Isabella's bottom, the other tenderly cradling her neck. Watching as her knitted booties slowly kick against his stomach, I am overcome by the realization that this is a man that I can envision sharing my life with... my future. The thought terrifies and excites me all at once.
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